One thing you gotta love about soccer that you don’t get from any other sports, is you get to hear sentences like this: “You have got to think KAKA is going to play a major role in the outcome of the game.”
Only 15 more minutes til kickoff, I am sure there will be plenty of more statements like that one being made throughout the afternoon.

2:31 p.m.: Eric Wynalda picks AC Milan. Now I hope they lose. Some guy named Sheamus also picks Milan and only one guy on the ESPN set picks Liverpool. I think because he played there or something.

1st minute: Gerrard just misses connecting with some other guy for a goal. Irish announcer is confusing me.

2nd minute: A whole lot of nothing. Go figure.

3:This Gerrard guy is pretty good. He almost connects again. I have a feeling I am going to be saying almost a lot today.

4: My son just tried to climb in the fire place, that was more exciting than the first four minutes of this game.

5:Liverpool’s Carrager pretends he is fouled in the box. Gotta love the English.

6: I can’t pronounce half of these fuckers names.

7: Still no score, you guys are really missing some exciting end to end action.

8: Tommie Smith (Irish announcer, or scottish, not too sure which one he is) says he’s pretty sure about something, but I couldn’t understand what that was.

9: I think I am a minute behind, but nothing is happening anyway so who gives a shit.

10: I immidietely regret this decision.

11: Best scoring chance of the day by Liverpool by Jermaine Pettite. Hey his brother is pitching for the Yankees tonight, that’s pretty cool.

12:Another chance by Liverpool and the dynamic duo of Gerrard and Pettite. (I don’t think that’s how you spell his name, but I’m sure you know who I mean).

13: Some guy named KUYT got called for a foul. For a second there I thought his last name was something else.

14:I just realized I was keeping track of the minutes backwards. I am a dumbass.

15: My son just changed the receiver to the radio and turned the game off. I think he wants me to pay attention to him.

16: Apparently I missed KAKA almost scoring a goal. And by almost I mean there was actually a shot on goal. It really was quite an easy save.

17:Do you think that the crazy soccer fans there think we can actually understand what they are saying in their festive football songs? They sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher for Christ’s sake.

18:With all this flopping going on I think Manu Ginoboli should go and play soccer.

21:This guy just said it doesn’t matter where KAKA goes. I prefer mine to go in the shitter where it belongs. There will be KAKA jokes all day long.

22: Gerrard almost does it again. I can’t figure out why everything went bold all of a sudden.

23: 23 minutes into this thing and no score.

24: The wife just called and thorough off my concentration. Good thing this is soccer and not basketball or football or I might have missed something.

25: Some people feel that Shaveolonsu might be leaving the club after this season. Don’t know who that is, but it is apparently newsworthy.

26: That guy I just mentioned almost scored a goal. Missed by like 10 feet. But close none the less.

28: Free kick for Milan, save by keeper.

29: Corner kick for Liverpool — things are really heating up now.

30: Pennant takes the corner. Guess i did spell his name wrong.

31: Rece of Liverpool can “give it a federal whollup” whatever the hell that means.

34: I have seen MLS games more exciting than this one.

35: Kuyt just misses a goal from Gerrard. If those two were playing hand grenades right now they would be dominating.

39: AC Milan is playing like garbage. It appears as if they don’t realize how big this game actually is.

42: Other announcer just calls Tommie Smith out for being a betting man. This goes on the list of things you will never hear announcers say during a baseball game.

44: Milan scores as the wife gets home and distracts me so I miss the goal. Women. I swear to God. I have suffered through 44 minutes of nothing and then once a goal happens I miss it. Either way Inzaghi scored, 1-0 Milan heading into halftime.

HALFTIME:Apparently the goal by Milan should have been called a handball, as the ball richocheted off of a Pioli or Perio shot and glanced off Inzaghi’s hand and into the goal. Either way, it’s still 1-0 Milan.

47: Some crazy soccer hooligan is running on the pitch right now. We don’t get to see who it is, but apparently he was carrying a Greek flag.

48: Apparently this is a rematch from the Champions Game a few years ago. I wonder if that game was any more exciting than this one.

50: Now I realize why soccer hasn’t caught on in this country. with 40 minutes left to play, Milan is not showing any desire to attack and are perfectly content with wasting time dribbling the ball and passing it back and forth. You would never see something like that happen in the World Series or Super Bowl.

53: Andruloski of Milan gets a yellow card for tripping the shit out of Pennant. Second yellow card of the day for Milan.

55: Milan misses out on scoring opportunity cause Inzaghi is called for offsides even though he wasn’t involved in the play at all. Crazy soccer rules.

57: The refs do not fall for KAKA’s flopping. Good thing. Now if only David Stern and the NBA officials could do the same thing.

58: Mastroano gets a yellow card for sliding spikes up. It’s the first yellow for Liverpool. Also the first substitution happens for Liverpool.

59: Liverpool gets another yellow, this time to Caragger who tripped up KAKA on his way toward the goal.

62: Yadish (the sideline reporter) reports in that Gerrard needs to get more involved for Liverpool. No shit sherlock.

63: Right on cue, Gerrard misses on a breakaway goal that could have tied the game. Maybe he shouldn’t be more involved.

64: Liverpool is “chasing this game”. Soccer announcers use such weird terminology.

68: Rica almost scores for Liverpool. I guess he really does have a federal whollup.

70: Nesta goes down for Milan. Which is bad, cause he hasn’t one jack shit all day.

71: Tommie Smith thinks the injury was a dee-Ki. I think that’s irish/scottish for decoy.

72: Gerrard almost scores again. I take it back, maybe he should be more involved.

(Note: Gerrard has apparently covered 8126m during today’s game. And I thought baseball had some weird stats.)

74: Week effort from Liverpool’s No. 7 on a header. Peter Crouch is getting ready to come in for Liverpool, which I guess is a big deal.

75: Some kid gets called out over the PA system to meet his father at gate 26. You never hear those announcements on TV over here. Then again we don’t have people singing in the stands either.

78: Crouch finally comes in for Mascherano. Good thing too, cause I can’t spell that guys name.

79: Everyone is surprised that Crouch is just now getting into the game. I don’t know why, didn’t they watch the World Cup when Crouch didn’t do jack?

80: Inzaghi lets a cross from KAKA go right through his legs. That may prove costly later on in the game.

82: GGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Inzaghi makes up for his mistake with with a perfect run on a through ball from KAKA, which he slips past the Liverpool keeper. It’s all but done for the men from Liverpool.

84: I don’t what is more impressive. Inzaghi’s two goals, or his acting job pretending he’s hurt right now.

86: Crouch drills a shot on goal, but it is deflected away by the keeper.

87: The AC Milan fans are really singing their asses off. Now you really can’t understand what they are saying, but I am guessing they are all pretty happy.

88: Inzaghi goes off to a standing ovation. He’s covered over 10,000 meters today. WOW.

89: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL: Liverpool’s Kuyt heads the ball off a deflection and into the goal. Too little too late fuckface.

90: Liverpool needs to pull their goalie like in hockey.

3 Minutes added for Injury time: Liverpool still has hope.

92: Milan is substituting to take time off the clock. Soccer strategy is crazy.

93: I wish the whole game would have been as exciting as the last 20 minutes were. But they weren’t. Game over: AC Milan 2, Liverpool 1.

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