For the past hour or so I have been glued to the TV like I haven’t been in quite some time. Actually, that’s a lie, cause I am always glued to the TV, but this time I swear it was different.

For the past hour I stared in amazement at a program on ESPN Classic. A program that I grew up watching. A program that not only features great athletes (I guess they are athletes), but mullets on everyone as well.

That’s right, I was watching nothing other than American Gladiators. A show that provides thrills, chills and a Todd Christianson mullet that would make Billy Ray Cyrus jealous.

Which brings me to my point of this post, what the hell happened to American Gladiators? Did Turbo, and Gemini and Laser all fail drug tests? Did Lace and Blaze and all the other over musclized broads on that show realize that they could have a better career in porn movies like Chyna? I don’t know. But someone needs to find out. Cause we need to bring this show back.
As I sit here and watch gay ass American Idol, I can do nothing but long for the days of shows like American Gladiator. Shows that are God awful, but since they fire 100 mph tennis balls at each other it makes it all watchable.

In fact, American Idol needs to incorporate a little American Gladiator in it. I think then maybe I would actually watch it instead of spending 15 minutes writing a post reminiscing about a show that aired in the late 80s.

Think about it, what if we gave Simon, Randy and Paula their very own tennis ball launcher like the one on Gladiator’s Assualt event, and instead of critiquing contestants they would just blast them off the stage if they suck. Who the hell wouldn’t watch that? I know I would.

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