Apr 21 2008

Celtics beat the shit out of Atlanta

Filed under: Commentary, NBA

Note: This column appears in the April 21 issue of The Gainesville Times.

So this is what you’ve all been waiting for.

Since the 1999 NBA Playoffs, the 12 or so Atlanta Hawks fans have been clamoring for the day that their team gets out of the NBA Lottery and back into the playoffs.

Well congratulations Hawks fans, your team is back in the playoffs, and how did the franchise thank you dozen loyal fans for all your support? With a 104-81 beat down to the Boston Celtics in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Playoffs.

Aren’t you glad you waited eight years for that?

Despite losing by 23, the Hawks learned a valuable lesson: They do not belong in the playoffs, and against teams as loaded as the Celtics, the Hawks don’t even stand a chance.

Sure the Hawks and the Celtics both play in the NBA, but in terms of talent, the Hawks are out of their league. Read the rest of this entry »

Mar 24 2008

Baseball and breakfast is not that appetizing

Filed under: Commentary

japan loves baseball

For those of you that may not realize it, today is opening day for Major League Baseball.

Amidst a slew of spring training games, the 2008 season officially starts today in a land known for its food, culture and love of baseball … Japan.

For some strange reason, Major League Baseball and Commissioner Bud Selig have decided to yet again start “America’s Pastime” in a country other than America. While I am certainly not that patriotic, something about starting the baseball season in a country other than this one is downright ludicrous. Read the rest of this entry »

Mar 19 2008

Bracketology 102: Upsets and Favorites

Filed under: Commentary

Now that you have all filled out your brackets, crossed out, and then filled them out again, it;s time to announce the Top 10 favorites and upset picks for the upcomming tournament.

Again, I am no expert at this, I’m just saying who I like to win it all, and which upsets I think will happen. Take my advice with a grain of salt, because my opinion is worth about as much Britney Spears’ opinions on good parenting.

OK, onto the list. First the upsets: Read the rest of this entry »

Mar 14 2008

Bracketology 101: Do’s and Don’ts

Filed under: Commentary

I was going to wait until after the NCAA Tournament bracket was announced on Sunday to post this blog, but after much deliberation I realized that it would be much more beneficial to all you loyal readers to post it today.

My reasoning is simple, if I were to post it post-Selection Sunday the majority of you would have already broken the majority of the following rules I am going to discuss.

So as a public service to you, I am bringing you a fools proof guide to what you should do, and what you shouldn’t do when filling out your bracket for the upcoming men’s tournament. Read the rest of this entry »

Mar 11 2008

The Top 10 reasons to watch championship week

Filed under: Commentary

With Selection Sunday a mere five days away, people across the country are frantically organizing office pools and preparing themselves for the most exciting month in sports: March Madness.

With that in mind, I decided to dedicate the first installment of Top 10 Tuesday to Championship Week, you know the week of conference tournaments that lead up to Selection Sunday.

So here is one man’s list of the Top 10 reasons to watch Championship Week. Read the rest of this entry »

Feb 09 2008

Apparently Clemens’ wife is a user too

Filed under: Commentary

News came out yesterday that Brian McNamee injected Roger Clemens’ wife with HGH prior to a 2003 Sports Illustrated photo shoot. The same photo shoot that is pictured below. Interesting…

Dec 13 2007

Apparently Clemens is a user

Filed under: Commentary

Only roids can get you a girl this hotAccording to this report on ESPN.com, retired pitcher Roger Clemens allegedly used steriods.

Well guess what? I am not surprised in the least bit.

You can look at his stats all you want, but the truth of the matter is, you really don’t have to have the stats in front of you in order to think the man has used the juice.

For one thing, how else can you describe a 45-year-old man that is in better shape and is considerably larger than most 25-year-olds in the prime of their careers.

Yeah, I know you get bigger when you get older, but based on personal experience you don’t exactly get bigger with muscle mass, you get bigger with beer mass.

For another reason, how else can you explain the fact that Clemens became a better pitcher the older he got.

I know experience is one reason for that, but come on, the man was the best pitcher in baseball for five out of the last six years (2007 he was a total bust, in fact he probably just came back to give Andy Pettitte some more roids and figured, “Hey, why not make $20 million while I’m here.”

(For those of you that don’t know, they just linked Andy Pettitte to Roger Clemens in a report on ESPN. As far as Pettitte is concerned, my mother always told me that “you are who you associate with,” so there you have that. Pettitte being named actually hurts as a Yankee fan because he was one of the originals. One of the Yankees in 1996 that gave all of us Yankee fans, who had never seen the team win a World Series and who had waited 14 years to see another one, hope. Hope that lead to four world titles in five years, including three-in-a-row from 98-2000. Pettitte was on those teams, but unfortunately, so was Clemens.) Read the rest of this entry »

Oct 01 2007

The steal of the century

Filed under: Commentary, NFL

I am blowing up this yearFor all those haters out there all I only have to say one thing: I bet you wish your team would have traded for Randy Moss don’t you?

Tonight, Moss caught yet another touchdown, meaning his season total is somewhere around 50 so far. (Really it’s like 7, but 50 seems about right.)

7 touchdowns in only three and a half games. Wow. And all he cost was a fourth round draft pick.

Think about this. Last year, Tom Brady was throwing to the likes of Troy Brown, Reche Caldwell and Jabar Gaffney. Randy Moss is better than all three of those guys combined. How could anyone possibly doubt that Randy would have success playing in New England? Answer? Hatred.

People hate Randy Moss because he’s arrogant, he’s lazy and he hates playing on losing teams.

You know what? If I was a 6′4″ wide receiver with the skills and talents of Randy Moss, I’d be all of those things too. I would expect to play on a winning team every year, and in the words of ESPN’s own Keyshawn Johnson, I would expect to “get the damn ball.”

That’s why Randy was so pitiful the past two years. He was playing for the sorry no account Raiders for two of those years, and with a washed up Daunte Culpepper prior to that. Now he’s playing with a guy named Tom Brady. A guy who gets everyone the “damn ball,” especially a receiver as potent as Moss.

If Brady thought having a son was the greatest gift in the world, then getting Moss this offseason was in doubt a close second to that.

So for all you haters out there that thought Moss would fail in New England and be nothing but a disgruntled malcontent like he has in the past…How’s that foot taste?

And for all of you that passed up on Moss in your fantasy drafts (myself included) the egg on your face is as shiny as the Super Bowl ring that Randy Moss and the New England Patriots will be rocking at the end of the season.

Sep 12 2007

The NFL: Fantasy or Reality?

Filed under: Commentary

Note: This article appears in the Sept. 13 issue of The Paper.
The NFL season began last weekend and to me that only meant one thing: the start of Fantasy Football.

For those of you that don’t know what fantasy football is let me tell you about it. But first, let’s talk about what fantasy football is not.

Regardless of the fact that fantasy football has the word “fantasy” in it, it does not mean that I sit at home and fantasize about being a professional football player. Sure, getting paychecks and supermodels/actresses like Tom Brady would be nice, but that’s not what fantasy football is all about.

Fantasy football is all about guys like me doing something that we have no right, yet still believe we have all the actual capabilities of doing, running our own football team. Read the rest of this entry »

Aug 14 2007

Golf is a funny game

Filed under: Commentary

Double Eagle BITCHESNormally I am not one to self promote, but this week I just can’t help myself.

I have been playing the game of golf for a long time. I played at the varsity level in high school 10 years ago, and have played recreationally ever since.

My game has never improved, and in fact it has steadily gotten worse.

To be honest with you, I couldn’t care less if my golf game improves. I don’t plan on trying to make the PGA Tour anytime soon, so why does it matter?

I play for fun. I play because I enjoy the time away from the real world hassles, and because it gives me a chance to spend some quality time with friends who I may not see too often.

But most importantly, I play because you never know what could happen out on the golf course, especially what happened to me just a few weeks ago. Read the rest of this entry »